Blues evening concert

THE GREYTON LODGE PRESENTS

GREYTON GOT THE

BLUES

WOKE UP THIS MORNING?
GOT THE BLUES FIXIN' TO DIE?
WANNA LAY YOUR HEAD ON THAT LONESOME RAILROAD LINE?
OR WORSE- FEEL LIKE JUMPING INTO A GREYTON POTHOLE?

RATHER HITCH A RIDE TO THE GL BARRELHOUSE FOR
REAL MISSISSISSISSISSIPPI AND CHICAGO BLUES

WHEN? SATURDAY 5 SEPTEMBER, 7 PM

EACH PAIR OF TICKETS COMES WITH A FREE BLUES CD, RECORDED RIGHT HERE! PROCEEDS TO GREYTON RED CROSS

TICKETS: R80

Special parole granted for the evening, to:

Jane 'Muddy Feet' Gaisford, Steamin' Michelle Holloway, Malcolm 'Leaky Pipes' Devine, Flash 'Tash Carter, the Tinker Taylors, Deaf Dave, Geoff 'Gimme a Double' Palmer, Paul 'Licorice Stick' Williams, Alex 'Head Butt' Carswell, Mitch 'Coolstix' Tunnicliffe and The Blue Dawes...top

METHS, PAINT REMOVER AND GUTWASH ON SALE

TICKETS FROM RED CROSS OR PAY 'AVALANCHE' BÓI OR 'ICEPICK' VILLI AT THE DOOR

Enquiries: Dave 'I got a real bad feeling about this' Jackson 082 853 4771

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THE BLUES PRIMER (with a little help from my friends)

EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT THE BLUES

(to prepare you for the BLUES JAM on Saturday, 5 September at the Greyton Lodge)

LESSONS 1 TO 3

1. WOKE UP THIS MORNIN' (THE OPENING LINE OF MOST BLUES SONGS)

You have to wake up this morning in order to sing the blues tonight. If you didn't, you're a little bit of er, history. Your epitaph will read: HERE LIES (see lesson 3)- DIDN'T WAKE UP THIS MORNING'

2. QUALIFICATIONS TO SING THE BLUES

You may sing the blues if :

You shot a man in Memphis

You're blind
You can't be satisfied
You're down to your last buck

Not if:

The man in Memphis lived
Your woman came back (especially with assets)
You were once blind, but now can see
You marry and become contented and watch TV

You have a trust fund

3. BLUES NAMES

Good Blues names:

Joe, Big Mama, Blind Lemon Bessie, Little Willie, Rosie, Lightnin' Etta

If your name is Cecil, Coenie, Chalmers, Paul, Malcolm, Boi, Kazik, Abdul, Natasha, Pamela, Gay, or Leonè, you can't sing the blues, no matter how many men you've killed in Memphis.

Next Week: Blues drinks, where to have the blues, how to write a blues song.

REMEMBER-GREYTON GOT THE BLUES-GL ON 5 SEPTEMBER AT 7PM

Free Greyton Blues cd with every two tickets purchased

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THE BLUES PRIMER (with a little help...)

EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT THE BLUES, Part 2

(to prepare you for the BLUES JAM on Saturday, 5 September at the Lodge)
Lessons 4-6

4. BLUES DRINKS

If your mama gives you petrol to drink, that's the blues. Here are some other blues drinks:
Bourbon, Sourmash, Whiskey, Muddy water, Embalming fluid, Greyton water (but then you gotta be fixin' to die)

These are NOT the kind of things you drink when you're fixin' to die:

Perrier, Johnnie Walker Blue Label, Blended wheatgrass, Chamomile tea, Lismore wines, von Geusau Hotshots

5. WHERE TO SING THE BLUES.

You may sing the blues in a barrelhouse, dodging a bullet from your girl's husband, walking on the highway, in the jailhouse or on the back of a horse with a noose around your neck.

NOT here: In an Ashram, the Cape Grace, the opening of any Greyton art exhibition, over a health breakfast at Via's, .

6. HOW TO WRITE A BLUES SONG.

Start with 'Woke up this Mornin'.
Add a trouble statement, eg 'Greyton got no lights'.

Repeat these two lines in case you're singing to 'Deaf Lemon Johnson'.

Start to resolve: 'Got a real bad feelin'
and then clinch with, 'Somebody gonna start some fights'

Warning: You may not get away with: You stole my wife,
You horse thief, you...

REMEMBER-GREYTON GOT THE BLUES at the GL ON 5 SEPTEMBER AT 7PM

Free Greyton Blues cd with every two tickets purchased
Proceeds to Greyton Red Cross